Airport Humor

Paul Garner, host of a British radio show, pretended to be a cab driver, giving the Heathrow Airport public address system announcers a piece of paper with two foreign-looking names of people to be paged. The names appear innocent enough, until you hear them read.

Look at the chart below, reading the names to yourself. Then click the speaker icon to hear a recording of the actual PA system in the airport terminal. In case you have trouble understanding what you are hearing, take a look at the english "translation".

No.	Names Paged	Hear	English Translation
1	Makollig Jezvahted and Levdaroum DeBahzted		My colleague just farted and left the room! The bastard!
2	Arjevbin Fayed and Bybeiev Rhibodie		I have just been fired and bye bye everybody!!
3	Aynayda Pizaqvick and Malexa Krost		I need a piss quick and my legs are crossed!

Martin Pointon, who assisted Paul Garner in this mission, said, "We'd sit on the balcony at Terminal 3, Heathrow, directly under one of the PA speakers. We had a DAT machine hidden in a bag with its microphone poking out the top. We'd find a flight that had recently arrived from someplace like Saudi Arabia, then go to the Airport Help Desk, hand them a prewritten note with the names of the two fictitious passengers we were supposed to pick up, and ask that they be paged. This way, with the flight information was written on the note, it looked like everything had been arranged in advance. We even wore ID badges and carried a mobile phone so we looked more like taxi drivers. If they'd asked, we'd pretend to be unable to pronounce the names ourselves and just hand them the bit of paper."